As many of you know, I lost my uncle this summer. It was the worst thing to happen to me, I couldn’t see a life without his constant support. When I was told the news, I never quite processed it until much later. I never really hit me, I never really cried until I was driving to band practice and I heard Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. I had to pull my car over on Rt. 1 because all I heard was this line, “A song for a heart so big, God wouldn’t let it live.” My uncle died due to his heart actually being too big and pumping too much blood, or something along those lines, I never got the full details.
Not only did I lose an Uncle, but my Aunt lost her soul mate. Christmas was quieter this year without him. We always had those parties because he loved that time of the year. I’ve missed him so much and it hurts. I know I joke about everything hurting, but this time, everything actually does.
I know it’s been 8 months, but my heart still hurts. I think in a way that this is what drives me to do what I do. It’s because I’d like to think that he’s proud of me. He’s proud of me for studying in England, he’s proud of me for writing and following my dreams.
Sometimes though, if I listen closely I can still hear him say, “Hey kiddo, chin up. You’re doing great.” It gives me hope in some small way.